Mustang Sally

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Mustang Sally. The end of a year – great time for navel-gazing and doomed quests for self-improvement. When it comes to New Year's resolutions, I usually go with something easily attainable, such as striving to watch more television or swear more around kids.

But enough about me. This is for you, the local musician. Well, also me. Full disclosure: I play in approximately 1.3 bands, by which I mean one active band and another that does nothing, but never bothered to officially break up. So, after another year in the trenches, it's my pleasure to present my fourth-annual collection of suggested resolutions for participants in the Grand Rapids music scene.

The list keeps growing (you may notice a few holdovers from previous years), but it's time to bid adieu to an old friend. With this year's list, I'm retiring, “Total Request Live”-style, the three-years-and-running No. 1 entry: “I will not cover 'Mustang Sally'.” I think we've all learned by now. If not, consider this your last reminder. But in recognition of the years we have spent together, I'm officially naming this column in that horribly ubiquitous song's honor.

When having our promo photo taken, we will avoid: brick-wall background; chain-link fence background/foreground; decayed urban setting; easily resolved game of “guess the singer”; standing on train tracks; standing knee-deep in water; everybody jumping into the air at the same time; everybody looking at the camera except one person; everybody looking in different directions; photographer lays on his/her back while band stands in a circle and peers down.

Syndal Gorden

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Syndal Gorden. Syndal Gorden is Chad Gaudin girlfriend Her name is pronounced Sin-dl which sounds a lot like ‘single’ and can make for some awkward social introductions. She has been dating the Chicago Cubs pitcher for about a year and a half.

Syndal and Chad lived with Nick Swisher last year when Gaudin and Swisher were playing for the A’s. I mention this mostly because I like the dynamic of one of the hairiest dudes in baseball (early 2007 Swisher) living with a guy who could probably sneak his way into the stands for military appreciation day.

Syndal is close to earning a Liberal Studies degree with a concentration in Human Development. She plans to be a kindergarten teacher, because she loves kids and thinks that teaching will be a great job once she has some kids of her own.

She has won two pageants in Fresno (including Miss Melt the Ice 2007 at the Fresno Falcon’s hockey arena), and used the prize money to help with her college tuition. She has also worked as a Hooters girl and nanny to pay her way through college, which sure beats my college job of washing dishes.

Syndal and Chad spend the off season in Chad’s hometown of New Orleans, where he spends his time hunting and playing golf.